Betrayal!

And my heart betrayed all emotions...
I could hear my breath even if I did not breathe.
Now the swooping tides wash over me...
And the freezing breath flies through me...

I cannot see...
Been ravaged by the mystic beauty,
Ruined by the unreal temptations...I cannot flee...
Betrayed by my own beliefs...

Ambitions

Dedicated to my long lost friend Janak, with whom I share most of these dreams!

There was this time when I wanted to be a train driver. I love trains. And I was always intrigued by Indian Railways. I loved the sound of train changing a track, the sound of train going over a bridge, or train halting on a station and most importantly, the green field or jungles as they passed by! One day dad, mom, bro and I were on a scooter and I was standing just in front of my dad like little kids do. And a train was just passing by. Dad refused to stop the scooter when I wanted to watch the train go. I just turned off the key and a scooter going at 50 kmph halted to a stop!! They always let me watch a train go after that! This was some 15 years back when I was still a small boy.

In next few years, like anybody in my age, I wanted to be a cricketer. Well, not Sachin. I wanted more to be like Rahul Dravid. I absolutely loved the way he played. His determination, consistency and also the fact that he was one of the best fielders at that time. And obviously, the fact that he must be mighty rich!!

Next in line was becoming a Hero. And that too one without any flops in my career. How exciting it would be to be romantic wid all the hottest girls who are out there J And being so famous and again rich.

By this time, I was in class X and knew a bit abt how the “Real World”, but my dreams didn’t. I wanted to an army officer next. Not a high level one. An army officer who fought from the ground and brought down as many Pakistanis as they could. Or maybe a commando who fights ppl for homeland security and saves hostages from tricky situation.

I became an engg, but I wanted to be Prime Minister of the nation. To tell the truth, I still want to be a politician. Not necessarily PM, but some1 who has a say in administration. M sure ppl who know me well will laugh on this… but well…

And here I am.. doing my MBA from one of the most coveted institute in the nation. And to tell the truth, I love it. I love the thought of being a manager and earning millions by next year (assuming economy is good, of course J) I will be in one of the high up positions in the corporate (hopefully). Something worth dying for!

But sometimes I wonder if the 7 year old boy who loved trains would have wanted this! A office going and suited up person who has no fun in his life. But that’s how it is. As we grow up, things like Money, power and the Greed to do something for your nation or for the society become much more important in your life and you discard every ambition you have ever had as worthless or not feasible. And this makes me feel guilty of not being faithful to my younger self who wanted to love what he did to death. And this makes me love the kids more for their innocence and childish dreams which they will come to hate as they realize that when they grow up, they will be expected to contribute to the world and they will end up loving it!!

Quotations..!!

Dedicated to Balli... yesterdays chat wid him compelled me to write this..!!

how often has it been that you do some act, which infuriates one of ur frnds, and u justify it by quoting some really jazzy line you heard somewhere..? Like, you have been very slow in your work, your coworker asks you to speed up, and you respond by a very nice little line "Slow and Steady wins the race"..!

I find it extremely irritating at times. Like, there was this time that certain habits of friend of mine wer quite irritating.. I said so, and in came the reply "My friends shouldnt try to change me, they should just accept me the way I am..!"

I sometimes just dont get the point of how can some1's experience, some1's thinking dictate the way YOU live. When each one of us is unique, our experiences ought to be unique. Giving quotations or jazzy lines as a reason is just like living some1 elses life.

Also, before quoting, one should have understood the context in which the line was said. Like in the Hare-Tortise story, the morale is not that if you are fast, you tend to falter. NO. At times, being fast is what is needed. The morale is, that much more important than speed is consistency. You have to be a consistent performer.

Like, you just cant say "Slow and steady wins the race" for a 100 m dash. Thats what you say for a 1500 m race or for a marathon. Same holds true for almost each and every quotations.

I was told yesterday that you just cannot go on doing things just coz every1 else is doing it. And I admit thats what most of us do. How many of us want to do MBA just coz every else wants to do it. I for 1, wanted it for same reason. It was only in the final yr that i found MY reason. Guess I was just lucky..

Similarly, each incident in your life is different. You just cant stop trying to better yourself by saying "Perfection cannot be achieved". There are FEW things in which it cant be achieved. But sometimes, it can be. Also, just coz you cant become perfect doesnt mean you shld stop trying.

Being stuck in the world of quotations is a mistake i made for a long time. Thankfully I grew over it. For me, now they are just a collection of well written lines. Nothing more. :)

Dreams

Dedicated to all the heroes I fantasize abt!!! :)

Have you ever wondered of how cool it will be if you were one of the heroes of some great movie... Like Harry Potter, or Aragorn from Lord of the Rings? Or maybe Yuvraj Singh when he hits 6 sixes in an over? or maybe Messi when he beats 6 players to score a legendary goal?

Well, I do... I do that a lot... I keep imagining myself in their shoes... Keep imagining killing Voldemort, or summoning an army of dead... Bit stupid... But u know wat... It is fun... Big time fun... and i can spend hours thinking abt it...

I know its too random... but well, thts how i am... completely random thoughts.. :)

LIFE @ K

Dedicated to Ankit, Abhinaba nd Nikhil sir.. Wldnt hv been here otherwise..

Its been more than 8 months since i joined IIM K... I still remember the first few days out here... I was so excited of what was ahead of me... Admittedly, I was bit afraid before joining... After all, this is one of the best colleges in the country. I was afraid of being too insignificant kind of. Of whether I will get any new friends out here...

But couple of weeks in the college, and I already had a new home. I had few good friends, also, I was able to cope up with the subjects and most important of all, i was enjoying it... I still am...

Also, this place is really really beautiful. I really wonder if I will ever be able to enjoy a hill station again. I mean, being in a college, situated on a hill top and you looking down almost everyday down to tree cover is something..!! This place is called Gods own Country for a reason u know...

This place is so very different from Nagpur. But even then, its good in its own way. There are many times when I wonder how much things have changed. I have become more talkative for one. My old friends will be so shocked to see the changes in me.. Dunno good or bad... Or maybe, they wont be... They have seen some more Radical Changes... :P

Every one out here has a focus. Something they want to do... Things are much more serious @ K. the stakes are much more higher.. It was never like that in Nagpur. We just used to live for the day... for the next DOTA game we were gonna play. We used to be awake just coz v wanted to eat the poha @ shankar nagar square. One of us felt like felt like not eating @ mess, and all of us will be trooping to CRC with so many more orders of rolls.

Here gaming is never a reason... Its just a way to pass next hour or so... Outings are much more rare. And to find a person outside speaking Hindi is like a Eureka moment!! But even then, its fun... seeing people fight like nething on IP, few debates on recession (I never thought I cld be part of such debates..!!) and analysing its affect on our placements, or preparing for a competition only to see being rejected at the very 1st stage. It is exciting...

Seniors hv finished their college... Next year, by this time, hopefully I will be a manager too..!! feels bit wierd u know... I am quite nervous abt how the next yr will be... will i get a good job..?

There are so many ifs... but guess they will always be there... Just the other day, I reminded myself of the dialouge of LOTR which i loved so much... "Remember this day.. coz today, Life's Good!!!" :) :)