Betrayal!

And my heart betrayed all emotions...
I could hear my breath even if I did not breathe.
Now the swooping tides wash over me...
And the freezing breath flies through me...

I cannot see...
Been ravaged by the mystic beauty,
Ruined by the unreal temptations...I cannot flee...
Betrayed by my own beliefs...

Ambitions

Dedicated to my long lost friend Janak, with whom I share most of these dreams!

There was this time when I wanted to be a train driver. I love trains. And I was always intrigued by Indian Railways. I loved the sound of train changing a track, the sound of train going over a bridge, or train halting on a station and most importantly, the green field or jungles as they passed by! One day dad, mom, bro and I were on a scooter and I was standing just in front of my dad like little kids do. And a train was just passing by. Dad refused to stop the scooter when I wanted to watch the train go. I just turned off the key and a scooter going at 50 kmph halted to a stop!! They always let me watch a train go after that! This was some 15 years back when I was still a small boy.

In next few years, like anybody in my age, I wanted to be a cricketer. Well, not Sachin. I wanted more to be like Rahul Dravid. I absolutely loved the way he played. His determination, consistency and also the fact that he was one of the best fielders at that time. And obviously, the fact that he must be mighty rich!!

Next in line was becoming a Hero. And that too one without any flops in my career. How exciting it would be to be romantic wid all the hottest girls who are out there J And being so famous and again rich.

By this time, I was in class X and knew a bit abt how the “Real World”, but my dreams didn’t. I wanted to an army officer next. Not a high level one. An army officer who fought from the ground and brought down as many Pakistanis as they could. Or maybe a commando who fights ppl for homeland security and saves hostages from tricky situation.

I became an engg, but I wanted to be Prime Minister of the nation. To tell the truth, I still want to be a politician. Not necessarily PM, but some1 who has a say in administration. M sure ppl who know me well will laugh on this… but well…

And here I am.. doing my MBA from one of the most coveted institute in the nation. And to tell the truth, I love it. I love the thought of being a manager and earning millions by next year (assuming economy is good, of course J) I will be in one of the high up positions in the corporate (hopefully). Something worth dying for!

But sometimes I wonder if the 7 year old boy who loved trains would have wanted this! A office going and suited up person who has no fun in his life. But that’s how it is. As we grow up, things like Money, power and the Greed to do something for your nation or for the society become much more important in your life and you discard every ambition you have ever had as worthless or not feasible. And this makes me feel guilty of not being faithful to my younger self who wanted to love what he did to death. And this makes me love the kids more for their innocence and childish dreams which they will come to hate as they realize that when they grow up, they will be expected to contribute to the world and they will end up loving it!!